Daybreak Health

Beverly Wertheimer

Beverly Wertheimer, PsyD, DMin, LCSW is a child and adolescent psychotherapist at Daybreak Health specializing in cognitive and meaning-centered therapies, an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, and a certified life coach and CEO at BeWorthy.com.

She is a published print columnist and was previously a TV anchor and reporter at ABC and NBC affiliates, CNN Turner Entertainment, and Entertainment Tonight.

When Therapy Fits in a Laptop Case

I have spent years helping children, adolescents and their families, and I keep noticing the same little miracle after every telehealth session. Therapy can happen without a car, a bus pass or a parent stuck in traffic. Nearly six years after COVID upended everything, many families still choose telehealth even when my office is only ten minutes away. For kids who can’t drive and parents juggling work or errands, teletherapy has quietly rewritten the rules of engagement. They log in from a bedroom, a kitchen table, or sometimes the front seat of a parked car. They have privacy and continuity, and research shows that teletherapy for youth produces outcomes comparable to in-person care. Access explains part of this, but the magic is more than logistical.

Parents Without the Parking Lot

Back in the days when I only saw clients in person, a familiar scene played out most afternoons. Adults dropped their child at the curb, and they trudged up the stairs. A parent or caregiver waited in the car answering emails or squeezing in 50 minutes of nearby errands. If I wanted them involved, I called or texted. Sometimes they were free, sometimes not, and sometimes it felt awkward. Children often didn’t want their parents sitting on the couch and taking over their therapy space. Occasionally, they bolted from the room in tears. Some folded their arms and refused to speak.

Telehealth smooths some of the friction. A parent can join from their own device. They don’t have to hover over their child in a fluorescent-lit office. A parent doesn’t even have to be in the same room. The child is not under extra pressure, the parent is not stressed by commuting or time constraints, and the therapist’s job is more about guiding than herding.

Therapy in the Living Room, Not the Office

One of the biggest advantages of telehealth is what’s known as ecological validity, you see behavior where it actually happens. Arguments transpire in the kitchen during homework, in the hallway outside a slammed bedroom door, and in the living room when screen time ends. On Zoom, I can watch those moments unfold or hear about them minutes after they happen. I can coach parents while the dishes are still in the sink, so to speak. Research also shows that skills practiced in context stick better. This is called contextual learning.

“One of the biggest advantages of telehealth is what’s known as ecological validity, you see behavior where it actually happens.”

For example, a child who practices coping strategies for anxiety during a Zoom session in their bedroom is more likely to use those skills effectively when their worry arises there. Likewise, rehearsing de-escalation in a quiet office is not the same as practicing it in a real argument over homework. Telehealth lets parents apply strategies where they are needed most.

Turning Down the Volume

High stress levels make thinking narrow and problem-solving harder. Physical proximity in a therapist’s office can unintentionally raise the stakes. On video, the screen creates just enough distance to lower arousal. When arousal is down, executive functioning comes back online. For youth, teletherapy can feel less like being summoned to the principal’s office and more like a casual conversation at the lunch benches. Another major plus is that brief separations between parent and child are easier. I’ll ask, “Mom, could you please hop off for a minute so I can help Becky calm down?” Arguments pause. Repairs happen.

This is not to say that telehealth is universally better. In-person care has its own important strengths. But when conflict escalates quickly or kids are resistant, video sessions can reduce intensity, increase comfort, and allow live coaching.

From Understanding to Action

Lowering emotional intensity and building engagement is only the first step. Children and teens need to feel heard, and parents need to feel respected. But hearing complaints doesn’t mean validating gripes that fall within normal developmental or generational differences. For instance, when a teen says, “My parents are so old-fashioned,” “They don’t understand me,” or complains about curfews and clothing rules, my goal isn’t to amplify resentment. Those are often typical tensions between generations, not evidence of a damaged relationship. Instead, I help my young clients explore solutions, practice problem-solving and communicate effectively without disparaging the relationship.

Telehealth can make this approach easier to implement. I can meet with young clients in the privacy of their own space, while still having the option to bring parents in for occasional sessions. These brief inclusions let families practice skills together, address specific conflicts and experiment with solutions in real time.

A Subtle Shift with Lasting Impact

It’s hard to believe how young telehealth really is. It grew up overnight, like many of my teenage clients. And while it didn’t replace great in-person therapy, it certainly redesigned the space where it unfolds. There’s a reason it caught on so quickly, it works. It allows access with less friction, engages children and adolescents in their own familiar space, and turns ordinary household conflicts into opportunities for practice and growth. And if this is what teletherapy looks like in its infancy, imagine what happens when the technology grows up.